Remenham Parish
Remenham Parish

Weddings, Baptisms and Funerals

BAPTISMS

For baptisms from outside the parishes of St Mary’s Henley and St Nicholas Remenham,

permission must first, without exception, be obtained in writing from the candidate's own Vicar or Rector.  Baptisms are generally held at 1230 on Sundays after the main service but can be held in the Sunday service or at other times by arrangement with the Rector.  There are no fees for baptisms but you are invited to make a thank offering in the special gift aid envelope provided at the end of the service.

Godparents must have been baptised and, if possible, confirmed. They will be saying the

same baptism promises on behalf of the children that they made for themselves at

confirmation. Those who are not baptised but whom you wish to act in a godparent role, are called sponsors.  Sponsors are asked to care for the child and support him or her in their journey of faith though they have no role in the service. Godparents are asked to pray for their godchildren, give them a good example to follow and generally encourage them to play a full part in the Christian community. Godparents should be chosen with the needs of the child in mind not simply to satisfy the wishes and desires of the adults. A godparent is not a legal guardian. If that is what you want your godparents to be you will need to have a separate discussion with them about this.   

Please contact the Rector for further information rector.hwr@btinternet.com  or 01491

577340.

WEDDINGS

In accordance with the Registration Acts of England and Wales, marriages may only be

performed in either of the churches in the Benefice (St Mary's, Henley and St Nicholas',

Remenham) if one or more of the following conditions apply:

  • Either or both parties to the marriage reside in one or other of the two parishes
  • Either or both parties to the marriage habitually attend worship in either of the two parish churches
  • A Licence has been successfully applied for from the ecclesiastical Registrar.  Please ask the Rector about his.

Please note that, in order to remain within the Law of the land, no exceptions to this ruling are ever made.

Banns

Banns need to read in your home parish church even if you are on the electoral roll at St

Nicholas.  They are read in the service on the three Sundays before the wedding.  Banns are not read if the marriage is by Licence.

Seating

The church seats approximately 150 in pews and a further 15 folding chairs are available.  Please click here for a floor plan of the church.

Music

The Director of Music’s details will be included in the letter you receive shortly after you

have seen the Rector to book your wedding.

Readings

Up to two readings can be accommodated; one must be from the Bible.

Bells

Bells are included.

Flowers

Flower arrangements can go on the window sills (3 in the Chancel, 3 on the north aisle, 2 on the west wall, 2 on the south aisle and 2 in the church porch), on pedestals either side of the altar, and on a pedestal in front of the pillar opposite the font.  Flowers may not go on the altar or font.  There are 4 pedestals available for you to use; these are stored in the vestry.  

For further details about flowers, please contact flowers@remenhamparish.org.uk.

Lavatories

There are no lavatory facilities in church as there is no mains water/drainage available.   

There are lavatories available next door in the Parish Hall.

Fees

Parliament and the Archbishop’s Council raise the fees each year.  The current charge, which includes everything apart from a choir if you want one, is £650.00.  From October to March there will be an additional charge for heating the church.  Please contact the Rector for further information rector.hwr@btinternet.com  or 01491 577340.

FAQs

1. What form of Service should we have?

Two forms of Marriage Service are authorized by the Church of England, the 1662 Book of Common Prayer and 2001 Common Worship. The first is written in an older form of English and the difference between the services is not just the language used but, more

importantly, in the emphasis of what marriage is for. It may be that some people are

attracted to the ‘old’ language but the emphasis there is on the transfer of property, while

the 2001 Service is based on the relationship of love between the couple. Whether the

words are old or modern, the service will be conducted with beauty, dignity and warmth.

2. Do we need to have an Order of Service sheet?

Yes, but the printing need not be of the expensive kind, it can be photocopied.  The Order of Service should include details of the music and readings as well as words of hymns and any prayers that the congregation will say. The hymns you choose should be taken from those in the hymn books in the church (Hymns Ancient & Modern, New Standard). Words and the number of verses of hymns can vary enormously so please be careful of versions downloaded from the internet as they may be set to match different tunes.  The Director of Music can help in the choice of music, hymns etc.

3. Checking the order of Service

The final details of the service must be made known to the Rector before you print the final version.

4. Does the bride have to be ‘given away’? If so, must it be done by her father?

The answer is no, it isn’t necessary for anyone to give the bride away. Sometimes a member of the family walks down the aisle with the bride; some couples these days meet one another just inside the entrance of the church and walk down the aisle together.  In the modern service the bride is “brought” rather than “given”!

5. Do you have any advice about bridesmaids and pageboys?

If possible avoid having very young bridesmaids and pageboys. The under-fives are easily overwhelmed by the occasion, making them either terrified or dominating of the whole proceedings. By all means have them dressed up and part of the photographs, but during the service we suggest they sit with their parents.  You should have no more than four who will follow you down the aisle.

6. Should we have ushers?

Yes - ushers are needed to hand out service sheets, any buttonholes, show people to their

seats and generally look after people. After the service they are needed to check that no

cameras and other belongings have been left behind in the pews; to remove all copies of the service sheets which have been left; and to replace the kneelers on the pews. A member of the congregation will also be on duty as a verger at the wedding to unlock the church and see everything is in order.

7. Does our marriage have to be witnessed?

Yes, by two people who are over the age of 18 and who understand English. Being present at the service, they sign the registers along with the bride, the groom and the officiating priest. Please note, the bride must sign in her maiden name. All signatures should be legible. Details will be given at the rehearsal.

8. Can we change the time or date of our wedding service?

Yes, provided we know at least six weeks in advance. One or other of you will need to come to the Parish Office to change the date and/or time on the form and initial the change. It is vital that any such changes are clearly agreed between you and the church to ensure that the church staff and bridal party are at church at the same time and on the same day!

Please note we insist on a gap of 2 hours between services to ensure that the church is

ready and prepared for each wedding. It is essential that services start on time as musicians and clergy will likely have other engagements elsewhere on the same day which have to be honoured. Brides who are late risk having readings or hymns cut! The latest time we offer a service is 4.00pm.

9. Will there be a rehearsal before our wedding day?

Yes, at church, usually in the week before the wedding. A date and time will be agreed with you by the clergy conducting your service. Generally speaking, only the bride and groom need to be present; the best man and a bridesmaid should attend too.

10. When should the bride, groom and ushers arrive?

The bridegroom and best man should arrive at least half an hour before the service. The

ushers should also arrive at least forty five minutes before the service to give out service

sheets. While it is traditional for the bride’s party to sit on the left and the groom’s on the

right, this does not have to be the case; it is usually easier to have everyone sitting together.

The bride and bridesmaids, page boys etc should arrive no later than five minutes before

the service. This gives time for photos to be taken on arrival and to have a quiet moment in the porch to calm last minute nerves! If you are using cars between home and church,

please check whether there are any events such as regattas, Henley Festival, Rewind Festival etc taking place and likely to cause traffic congestion in the village and lanes leading to St Nicholas.

11. Can photographs be taken during the marriage service?

We ask that only the professional photographer employed to do so takes photos during the service. This is a very special and sacred moment in your lives and the flashing and clicking of cameras is distracting in a very intrusive way. Your official photographer may use a digital camera, which is more discreet, but s/he must speak to the clergy half an hour before the service to agree where photographs are allowed. There will be an opportunity for informal pictures and brief, formal poses with flash if wanted during the signing of the registers. Once the service is over, photographs can be taken of you leaving the church and - of course –outside.  Photographing the actual signing of the register is forbidden by law.

12. Are we allowed to have the service recorded by video camera or tape recorder?

Yes, provided your video and/or audio recordist has undertaken a copyright agreement with us before the Service. This means obtaining a copyright licence on line and returning it to the Rector before the wedding. There is a charge for this to cover the copyright fee of the organist and choir (and any other musicians). The video recordist should arrive in good time before the wedding so he or she can discuss with the clergy where it is best to stand. Either all, or none, of the service should be recorded, and the video charge will stand where there is any recording undertaken.

13. How long will the church service last?

Usually between 40 and 45 minutes, depending on how many readings and hymns you

have. Great care is taken over the timing of services so it is extremely important that you

arrive on time.

14. Can our guests throw confetti?

Confetti must be bio-degradable like rice and rose petals as other kinds of confetti are very difficult to sweep up.  Confetti can only be thrown outside the churchyard.

FUNERALS

Funerals are a very important way of marking the close of a human life on earth. They are an opportunity for friends and family to express their grief, to gather up the threads of the life of the deceased, to give thanks for them and to commend them to God's keeping.

When someone close to you has just died, arranging a funeral may not feel the easiest thing to do. We are here to help. Whatever pattern of service you want, whether in church, crematorium or cemetery, we can help you put a service together. The words and actions all speak of a loving God and the preciousness to him of every human being. As Christians, we believe that death marks not the end of life, but a new beginning as we move from earthly life to a greater life with God. Please leave all the arrangements to the Funeral Directors as they contact everyone involved.

We are also happy to conduct memorial services for those who belong to the parish or have a pastoral or historic link with St Nicholas. Memorial services can normally be held on weekdays outside of normal service times. It is not possible to have a memorial service on a Sunday, and Saturdays are often booked with weddings. There is a separate scale of fees for memorial services and details can be obtained from the Parish Office.

It is sad, but a privilege, for us to conduct a funeral service for you.  Sometimes the person who has died leaves instructions about what they want at the funeral. If so, you will probably want to respect their wishes. However a funeral is also meant to help you, so respecting your needs in the service is important too. If you want to leave all the planning to the clergy, we will be very happy to do it, but you may like to think of some of the things set out below.

Address

Who would you like to speak about the deceased? The clergy are very experienced at this

but there may be somebody else you would prefer to give the address.

Music

Is there any special music? If the funeral is taking place in church it needs to be suitable for playing on the organ.   Again, the Director of Music or the Clergy can help.

Hymns

Choose hymns that are well known and you think people will be able to sing.

Readings

Do you or did the deceased have a favourite bible reading or poem to be read? Is there a

friend or family member you would like to ask to do the reading?   One reading must be

from the Bible.

Please contact the Rector for further information rector.hwr@btinternet.com  or 01491

577340.

River levels webcam

Church Services

Sunday 23 September

1115 sung Holy Communion with hymns (BCP)

 

Sunday 30 September

1115 sung Matins (BCP)

 

Sunday 1 October

1115 sung Matins (BCP)

 

Sunday 8 October

Harvest Festival

1115 sung Holy Communion (BCP)

 

Sunday 15 October

1115 sung Matins (BCP)

1800 Evensong with the Bishop of Dorchester at St Mary’s Henley

 

Sunday 22 October

1115 sung Holy Communion (BCP)

 

Sunday 29 October

1115 sung Matins (BCP)

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